Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
