Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
