I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I want to fling myself into the sun
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