addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
