so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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