how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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