what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
