i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
