Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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