It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
