It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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