So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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