And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Best friends brother. Beat that.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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