Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
