You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
