One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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