come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
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