Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
