just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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