Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
