shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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