Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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