no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
