who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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