she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
