Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
