i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i dont even know how to be here
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
