She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
