so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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