We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
