your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
