what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
OPIZZABONMYDICK
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
