Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize