I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
