Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
