eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
