508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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