i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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