I think my vagina is haunted
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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