Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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