I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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