I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
