Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
did you just send me my own nude
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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