Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
