He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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