Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
