you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
