So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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