What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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