So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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