Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
