You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize