Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Randomize
