I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
