If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
