He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
