She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize