it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
