it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
