my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
only if we run a train.
done.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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